Consolidating Insights for My Everyday Life

There are some questions that come to my mind every once in a while. They used to trouble me and make me feel puzzled from time to time. Slowly I have mapped out how they are interconnected to each other. Now it seems a good time point to consolidate and distill them into something that can make my day-to-day better (kind of serving as a template response for some thoughts that used to bother me).

The Inherent Meaninglessness

There is no point in our being. There is no point in the existence of anything. So, why bother living at all?

Some existential philosophies concluded that the meaning of existence lies in the process of meaning-making for oneself. It is possible that someone will find the meaning this way. But I think it’s more important to un-ask this question of meaning. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, the conflict of meaning seems to stem from the unnecessary presumption of meaning.

It is more liberating to know that there doesn’t have to be any meaning. You can have a meaning in life, but it is not necessary. Everyone can live the way he wants. It is okay because whether a way of living is “right” or “wrong”, or “good” or “bad” relates more to our environment in the greater scheme of evolution.

More importantly, it is okay because everyone, including myself, will die one day.

Our Finite Being (Destined To Miss Out Something)

Some people characterise many problems in the modern society as the “disease of more”. Not just about having too much, but also the tendency to seek more. The social media is the prime example for this issue. We see many things that we don’t get to do. And we feel a “deficiency” in our life. Or, we simply have too much choice and we enter a analysis-paralysis mode.

We just have harder decisions to make when we have an explosion in the number of choice. Economically, more and better alternatives mean we will have ever higher opportunity cost. In this context, it feels sad that we have only one life. But exactly because of this, our choice can make sense. We cannot reap any potential benefit (e.g. joy) unless we make a choice. It means we’ll inevitably have to forgo all alternatives.

Missing out is okay. As we have only a finite amount of time on earth, the best strategy is to commit to some choice, not always looking around for better alternatives. Of course, it doesn’t guarnatee that every choice is correct.

Few Things Are In Control

Sometimes I question heavily on the choice I made. I also overthink when I am trying to make decision. It all traces back to the fact that we can hardly control the outcome. I want it to have the desired result, but there are just too many external factors. It is contradictory that we should commit (make decision) while we know little about its actual outcome.

It can go seriously wrong on a few occasions. Maybe I’ll pick the wrong career. Maybe I’ll marry the wrong person. Maybe writing this post will backfire some years later. There is a possibility, but more often, it will turn out just alright. It’s neither the best case nor the worst case you can imagine. It is most of the time a unimagined, but good outcome.

So the crux is to make a choice and live with it. No choice is perfect. Everyone of them will involve some undesirable elements. But I don’t mean making a random, obviously bad choice. Make a choice sensible to you based on your best knowledge at that time.

It Doesn’t Matter How Other People Think

I feel that I often care too much and overthink how other people think of me. Not saying that I want to be a sociopath, completely disregard other people’s opinion on me. But the fact that each of us tends to think more about ourselves than other people feels relieving to me.

I dreamt of being famous, like a successful pop star, a well-known author or a 30-under-30 person. Now I think: what’s the point of solely being famous? Fame is only a side-product. It can be a harmful one as well (e.g. young popstars who suffer from depression or anxiety). And fame is so ephemeral.

What matters are what we perceive. And regret seems to be a big factor in how our think of ourselves (Jeff Bezos - Regret Minimization Framework). Everyone has a different life with different circumstances, experiences and constraints. It is normal that we have different preferences in the choice of our regret-to-be-avoided.

Reminders For Myself

I started to write this post because I wanted to give myself some perspectives and ideas I can use to have a better day-to-day. So here are some takeaways:

• No one knows the right way to live, because there isn’t one; everyone has his version of life (that you can’t compare)
• Your choice is good as long as you make one; it will turn out alright as you commit to it
• Commitment requires some actions; act with the patience and calmness these perspectives offer to you
• Be open to advice, but think for yourself (circumstances and constraints); what you do is probably the best way you can make things happen (just improve your day-to-day step-by-step)

Finally, a video I randomly found on YouTube some few years ago that I like a lot: